Describe a Moment in Time- Writing

Over the last 4 weeks, we have been working on writing to 'describe a moment in time'.
To describe a moment in time we needed to try and:
- write a hook to engage the reader
- use present tense
- use descriptive language (adjectives, similes)
- use senses to add detail

We have used a variety of pictures over the weeks. Here are some pieces of writing. Please remember that these are not perfect pieces of writing and that our spelling may not be perfect!

The riders are scciding down the hills.The rider is holding on so tiet because he might fall down! The riders can smell and tasted the dirt and the swet. They might be thinking it is going to rain.The riders a having a race and the blue one is going to win they think.The rider with the red motorbike feels nervous because he thinks the other riders a going to catch up to him. “Crash” landed the awesome red motorbike!

By Eligh

"Woosh!’’the rider bolted down the hill on her advanced red and black pit~bike. The rider held her handles tight when she dashed over the crest of the hill.Her bike fled over the bumby rocks in the ground. The ground is really dusty, it is as dark and  dusty as a sandstorm. She felt really excited and scared, she was excited because she was wanting to know if she was going to win the race, scared because there are a lot of challenges she has to go through, like going over the rock and the crest of the hill, but she’s past that now. She can hear the rumbles of the bike’s engine She can smell the dirty smoke from the engine aswell.As she held onto the handles she felt the sweat dripping down her hands like tadpoles in a race.

By Tovie

Crash! Went the heavy ,and large bikes . They land quickly on the other side of the hill wum wum!!! The strong rider hold on the hard handles so that he doesn’t fall off.His speedy bike rushed over the soft soil so that he doesn’t get stuck. The soil is soft so there are small dust clouds that the riders can’t see. The extremely soft soil might make some bikes stuck! He felt so excited to win the cup but he felt scared of falling down.  The rider might see the other bikes trying to go in front of his to win the cup.

From the rider’s helmet he can see the black rain clouded coming after them. The rider might hear  the other bikes rushing through the small rocks. While they are racing he can smell the dust clouds flying into the helmet .

By Patrik

There was nothing in the  silent dark,clear, blue ocean although it was empty except for one lonely diver and a gigantic shark.

The miniature man was facing  upwards as he watched the tremendous shark swim above him. A little tiny diver might smell strong sea salt water.  The diver slowly gilded under the scaly long lasting shark. The sea looks really calm, the sand looks like the surface of the moon. The diver might be a scientist because he is interested in looking at the large stripes on the  shark.The shark might scene that there is something under him.The diver will taste a little bit of the water from under his swim suit. The tiger shark might be thinking what is that teeny thing under me doing?,and the diver might be thinking will the stripy shark attack me? The diver might feel the soft sand beside him. And the shark might feel the water splashing on him. I wonder what will happen next?.

By Mikyala

The tiger shark is the same sies as the diver.The diver is a bit taller than the tiger shark.The tiger shark is swiming on top of the diver.The diver is swiming under neth the tiger shark.The tiger shark mite be tinking wiy is this prson under me.The sand looks like the diver is on the moon.The tiger shark can see nothing because sharks cant see well.The diver can hear the sowned of the water.The tiger shark coied smell the fish in the distins.The diver can feel the sand because he is lalling down on the graoned.   

By AJ