Sick Sentences

This week, we have been working on some more sick sentences. We started off with a picture of an old railroad, and some sentences that weren't very good. We talked about what was in the picture and we talked about how we could make the sick sentences better. While we did each fix our own sentences, we also fixed them as a class. This is what we came up with...

They sat in the creepy, spooky woods. As they lit a smokey fire, the mist rose up into the air. They constructed a tiny campsite with miniature logs. While they put up their tent, they told scary stories. Suddenly they heard a paranormal noise floating through the woods, and they felt a bizarre feeling inside.

Sick Sentences

At writing time we have been looking at Sick Sentences and trying to make them better. This week our Sick Sentences were "There were rows of seats. Cobwebs covered the walls. It was cold in the room". We talked about how there were no wow words in these sentences, and thought that we could make them better by adding more detail, wow words and a simile. First, we worked independently to fix the sentences, then we shared our ideas. Finally, we chose our favourite parts of the sentences that we had come up with to fix the sick sentences as a class. This is what we came up with. Let us know what you think. Did we make the sentence better?